First, a story:
Last year, I went on a veggie biryani streak. I tried it at any restaurant near me that looked even potentially good. I wanted to understand it, and find the best one.
And then having understood it, and having found the best and favorite one, I never ate it again since…..
… what is this insanity? It’s like trying to complete quests irl, or finish achievements.
If I find something I like, and then keep enjoying it, that would make sense. But why do I go through these insane searches, and then when I find what I’m looking for, drop it?
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Counterfactual Regret Minimization
The good robot learns from mistakes. He is always trying to find the “best way” of doing something, in order to obtain the best possible result (or least bad result, which is the same thing).
If I eat a bad biryani, when I could’ve had a good one, this is a mistake. If I choose one drafting path, and after the fact regret it, then I could’ve “regretted less” by doing something differently.
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Loose Ends
A seeker in Eastern spirituality will come across the idea of “karma”. There is often a misguided goal of trying to finish and “dissolve” karma, because karma is seen as a bondage on your freedom.
Essentially, it’s like trying to “tie up loose ends.” Also, it’s trying not to create new karma, by doing things consciously.
In RD2L, I’ve experimented with ways of not creating more “karma.” For example, in my Hufflepuff Harem season, all season long I mostly forced my vision on my team, because I had a team that would let me. But at the end, when I saw that the time for losing has come, I listened to my team and picked something I knew was wrong, and I would never do (Wraith King into PL).
An ironic fact of life is that you rarely get credit for the mistakes you don’t make. Flashy players are visible to all, but a player who doesn’t make mistakes is appreciated by few.
Drafting is related. There can be a lot of thought that goes into it, that is not visible. As in the art of war: “All see the tactics I win with, but none can see the strategy.”
Since I saw that we were probably going to lose anyway, I wanted to let my teammate lose his way, instead of having the bitter taste of losing a tyrant’s way. Karma avoided.
…
But I’ve come to realize that life is all loose ends. Trying to plan everything doesn’t work. The only way is the path of Zen “let go.” Accept all that is. Whatever is, is good.
If you accept everything, and don’t choose “this is good, this is bad”. If you experience things consciously. Then I can say from experience that there is minimal “karma” to pick up. Any minor disturbances to the psyche linger briefly and then depart. I’m at peace most of the time. (By the way, sleeping enough is important everyone)
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Consider this. If you are sure about something, do you need to make a decision? If something is clearly bad, do you need to make a decision?
The only time you need to make a decision, is if you are unsure.
Having seen that you are the problem, excuse yourself! Give up decision-making. Or give up regretting the consequences that follow. Flow with the stream of life. All things bright and beautiful.
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Having concluded the psyops portion of the blog (or have I?), now I shall improv some rd2l-relevant material.
TheMantis
For a robot such as I, if I have loved you once, then I have loved you forever. For you, I can turn from a friend to an enemy; but for me, it makes no difference.
The Mantis had an idea of me in his head, which he liked. But I am not so two-dimensional. When I later betrayed the idea of me that he had, he turned. But have you considered that it is unfair to have ideas about people, and then expect them to fulfill your idea? This is the very way everyone is driving everyone mad in society.
But still, I love him for his autistic sincerity, and naivety. Sincerity has always been a very attractive personality trait to me, in a world where everyone is false.
Doofgod
You are responsible for everything in your life. It does not mean you caused it, but it means it is yours to respond to it. What you can change, change; what you cannot, accept.
Mooshack vs. Vuvu would be my pick for the final, but they are matching earlier in the bracket.
Think we all hope for Zewqew 3-peat, #1 because it’s bullshit, but acceptable and expected bullshit. #2 because vuvu/doomcow winning is just too insufferable. NGL after ultra excused himself, not having someone to bully doomcow has allowed him to grow out of control like a tumor.
I never fully joke, there is always part seriousness. When the blog is ready to cum, I allow it.
But with some things, I feel like an wound-up energizer bunny. Like with dota this season. I have to “start” the drive for dota. I remember how I got good at games before, and I can somewhat do it again now. But it is like going through the motions. The old passion is gone. Really I’m becoming more and more still and peaceful inside.
And I wish the same benediction for you. It is like you have heard of a treasure, and you want to share the good news, but there is no one to share it with.
What was the need to write so many blogs? I wanted to find people who might understand me. Stonks can appreciate my nerd-itry, and I thought you might appreciate the “psychology.”
May you, and I, continue becoming more and more conscious :pray:
Perception becomes reality.
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